It's been a while since I posted, that's because of the new job. The constant worry that I am not good enough is at an all time high and I have always struggled with a fear that the effort I put into anything I do is just mediocre at best. It's reflected a lot in the poems I never let anyone read. I have never had this much demand of me on any job. As a member of the sales team, our job is huge and if we don't do our job no one comes to the hotel to spend money. In turn, no money for bills and payroll.
My specific job is difficult for a few reasons; I am new, in the previous job I didn't have as nearly as much work to do, I have to make 75 calls for business a week, and the hotel is very social events heavy. That is not my market, as the corporate sales person my thought process and speech is very cut and dry. I have felt a void of creativity and being bogged down by a lack of confidence, I am notorious for saying there is nothing I can't do. I meet as many challenges head on as I can and this one is no different but my efforts means more and my family depends on my efforts.
So, hopefully I will be right back with you next week, perhaps this will help me keep the stress down.
